Teach Us To Pray: Forgiven and Forgiving

Main Text: Matthew 18:21–35

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.

31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

—Matthew 18:21–35

The disciples noticed Jesus’ powerful prayer life and wanted to learn how to pray with the same authority. They asked, “Lord, teach us to pray!” Jesus responded with the model prayer:

Matthew 6:9-13

9 “In this manner, therefore, pray:

**Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

10 Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

13 And do not lead us into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.”

The Lord’s Prayer is “an invitation to share in the prayer-life of Jesus himself.” – N.T. Wright

Jesus teaches us that when we pray:

• We walk in alignment with Heaven (Week 1)

• We walk in the forgiveness of the Father (Week 2)

• We walk in obedience to the Spirit (Week 3)

Why Are My Prayers Not Getting Answered?

Jesus taught:

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

—Mark 11:25 (ESV)

#1: When You Pray, Remember…You Are Already Walking in Extravagant Forgiveness

24 “One was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.”

Reasonable Question: What could have caused such a massive debt?

When we are heavy with debt, we often experience:

• Anxiety

• Despair or Depression

• Strained Relationships

• Isolation

• Self-Medication

Sin makes us a debtor … .“The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” —Genesis 3:13 (ESV)

(“Deceived” – Hebrew: nasha – to lend on interest, be a creditor: debt, debtor, deceive)

• Mercy is when we do not get what we deserve.

• Grace is when we get what we do not deserve.

“And you, who were dead in your trespasses… God made alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us.” —Colossians 2:13-14

Remember:

• Your sins (debt) have been forgiven.

“Then He adds, ‘I will remember their sins and their lawless deeds no more.’ Where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer any offering for sin.” —Hebrews 10:17-18

• His righteousness is now your righteousness.

“For our sake, He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” —2 Corinthians 5:21

#2: When You Pray, Remember…Walking in Forgiveness Means Freely Forgiving

32 “Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?”

Peter asked… When does forgiveness run out? Jesus responded, When does it run out for you?

The Hardest People to Forgive:

• The family member who betrayed you

• The partners or friend who wronged you

• The leader who abused you

• The enemies who harmed you

• The church that hurt you

• The person you see in the mirror

When We Walk in Unforgiveness…

1. We Reject God’s Forgiving Grace

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” —Matthew 6:14-15

2. We Allow Bitterness to Set In

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” —Hebrews 12:15

3. We Give the Enemy a Foothold

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” —Ephesians 4:26-27

4. We Cause the Heavens to Become Brass

“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” —Mark 11:25

5. We Impede Our Growth

“Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness… But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.” —1 John 2:9-11

Point #3: When You Pray… Walk Out Forgiveness Instead of Walking Out of Forgiveness

22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” —Matthew 18:21-22

Forgiveness is difficult until you’ve experienced the extravagance of His forgiveness.

How To Be H.E.A.L.E.D. When You’re Hurt

1. H – Honest About the Hurt

• Be transparent about the pain. Acknowledge the impact and allow yourself to feel it fully as you begin the journey to forgiveness.

2. E – Embrace God’s Mercy Toward You

• Reflect on God’s forgiveness in your life, reminding yourself of the mercy He extends to you.

3. A – Actively Decide to Forgive

• Forgiveness is a choice. Make the conscious, sometimes difficult, decision to let go of resentment and move toward healing.

4. L – Let Go and Release the Offender

• Surrender any desire for revenge or justice, allowing God to take over. Release the emotional hold they have on you.

5. E – Extend Prayer and Blessing

• Pray for the person who hurt you and seek to bless them, aligning your heart with God’s love and compassion.

6. D – Daily Choose Forgiveness

• Forgiveness is a daily commitment. Regularly remind yourself of your choice to forgive, keeping bitterness from taking root.