BOUNDARIES & BARRICADES

Series: Home Improvement | Pastor Daniel Norris

Have you established healthy boundaries or been forced to build barricades?

Do not move the ancient landmark that your fathers have set. Proverbs 22:28, 23:10 (ESV)

You shall not move your neighbor’s landmark, which the men of old have set, in the inheritance that you will hold in the land that the Lord your God is giving you to possess. Deuteronomy 19:14 (ESV)

‘Cursed be anyone who moves his neighbor’s landmark.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’ Deuteronomy 27:17 (ESV)

Healthy boundaries are not a burden; they are a blessing!

1. HEALTHY HOMES THRIVE WITHIN HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. 

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:6–9 (ESV)

Where Do We Need Healthy Boundaries:

– Around the Presence 

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 (ESV)


You summon what you serenade.

– Around Your Prosperity 

– Around Your Purpose 

If you do not define your divine purpose, culture will define it for you.


Healthy boundaries have to be:

– CLEAR 

– COMMUNICATED 

– CONSISTENT 

2. WHEN BOUNDARIES ARE BREACHED, WE INEVITABLY BUILD BARRICADES WHERE WE’VE BEEN BRUISED. 

A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle. Proverbs 18:19 (ESV)

The Cycle of Offense

F – Fault

A real or perceived offense occurs. 

E – Explanation 

We reinterpret the fault. We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are.

N – Nursing 

Instead of addressing the fault, we rehearse it over and over.

See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled Hebrews 12:15 (ESV)

C – Counterattack 

We respond in kind.

E – Entrenchment 

We dig in. 

The very barricade you built for your protection is suffocating the relationship you say you want to preserve.

3. PRIDE KEEPS BARRICADES IN PLACE, HUMILITY BUILDS A GATE FOR HEALING.

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18 (ESV)

It does not take courage to dig in your heels. It takes courage to go first.

Humility opens a GATE

G – Go Directly

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. Matthew 18:15 (ESV)

A – Assume the Best

Love believes all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7 (ESV)

T – Take Responsibility

First take the log out of your own eye. Matthew 7:5 (ESV)

E – Extend Forgiveness

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)

What boundary do we need to build?

What barricade do I need to break down?

Do not move the ancient landmark that your fathers have set. Proverbs 22:28 (ESV)